Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him the drink and he drinks it.
Then he looks in his shirt pocket and orders another drink. He does the same thing with the
second drink and orders a third drink. The bartender pours the drink and says “listen pal I’ll
buy you drinks all night long if you tell me why you keep looking in your shirt pocket”. To this
the guy replies “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good I know
I’ve had enough to drink and it’s time to go home”.
A man walks to the bartender and bets $100 that he can piss into a shot glass placed on the
opposite end of the bar and not spill a drop. The bartender takes the bet and sets up the shot
glass. The man then starts pissing all over the bar, not even close the shot glass.
The bartender starts jumping up and down, yelling “Yahoo!” Another man at the back of the bar
suddenly grabs a chair and, swearing loudly, smashes it against the wall. The bartender says,
“What’s with him?” The man replies, “Oh, I just bet him a thousand dollars that I could piss all
over your bar and make you happy.”
A husband, let’s call him Sam, and wife, let’s call her Judy, go to the doctor for the sake of
the husband and, after the doctor has fully examined Sam, comes out to talk with Judy about Sam’s
diagnosis.
“Whats the matter with my husband Doctor?”” Judy asks.
“”He has a condition that is incurable. But there is one thing you can do that may help him live
longer.”” the Doctor led on.
“”I’ll do anything
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After examining the
man he says,
“Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are
glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, “what’ll you have?”
The man says, “Give me three pints of Guinness please.”
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the
other, then the third until they’re gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, “Sir, I know you like them cold. You don’t have to order three at a time. I
can keep an eye on it and when you get low I’ll bring you a fresh cold one.”
The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States.
We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we’d still drink together. So right now, my
brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we’re drinking together.
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.
Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two.
He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, “I know what your tradition is, and I’d just like to say that I’m
sorry that one of your brothers died.”
The man said, “Oh, me brothers are fine—-I just quit drinking.”
3 sardar picnic par gaye…
Waha jakar yaad aaya ki “pepsi” to ghar pe
hi bhul gaye..
Decide kiya ki sabse chota sardar ja kar
pepsi lekar aae.
Chota sardar: “mai is sart par jaunga ki
tum mere aane tak samose nahi khaoge.”
dono ne kaia thik hai.
2 din guzar gae. sardar nai aaya.
4 din guzar gae. Sardar nah aaya.
Dono ne socha ki ab samose kha leni chahie.
Jaise hi samosa nikala, chota sardar ped ke
piche se bahar nikal ke bola- “AISE KAROGE
TO MAI NAI JAUNGA”
What does a mexican get 4 christmas?
Your TV.
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Jesus can walk on water but chuck Norris can swim on land.
A somewhat strange guy walks into a bar. The bartender notices him and watches as the man walks up to a group of men at a table and starts talking to them. The man then gets up and goes to the bartender and says…”I bet you $500 that I can piss in that shot glass on the back wall without spilling a drop.” The bartender, thinking he could make himself a quick $500 takes the bet. The man then unzips his pants and starts pissing all over the bartender and the bar. He pisses on everything but the shot glass. When he is finished the bartender says,” well I guess you owe me $500.” The man walks back over to the table and comes back and gives the bartender $500 the bartender then ask…”How did you get that money from them?” The man replies…”Well I just bet them $2,000 that I could piss all over you and your bar and you wouldn’t get mad.”