“I’d like to buy a bottle of Irish whiskey”, she tells O ‘Flynn.

The owner of the store shakes his head and frowns.
“A bottle of Irish whiskey? And you being a nun too.”

“Oh no, no,” Sister Mary Margaret exclaims. “It’s for Father Reilly.
His constipation, you know.”

O’Flynn smiles, nods, and puts a bottle into a bag.
Sister Mary Margaret pays, takes the bag and goes on her way.

Later that day, O’Flynn closes shop for the day.
On his way home he passes an alley. There in the alley is Sister Mary Margaret.
She’s rip roaring drunk, the empty bottle at her side.

“Sister!” O’Flynn scolds.
“And you said it was for Father Reilly’s constipation.”

“It is,” answers Sister Mary Margaret.
“When he sees me, he’s gonna shit!”

back off he asked her name.
“Carmen,” she replied.
That’s a nice name,” he said warming up the conversation,
“Who named you, your mother?”
“No, I named myself, she answered.
“Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?”
“Because I like cars, and I like men,” she said looking directly into his eyes. “So what’s your

name?” she asked.
“Beersex.”

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If the morning is bright and cheerful you’ll have dynamic energy and strength to face the challenges that come across the day and win happiness as the sun subsides. There is a school of thought who believes that good start to the day is always followed by great things for remaining day. What else can be a good beginning than cute good morning wishes from your loved ones / friends? As you wake up and check your cell phone and find text messages of good morning greetings, it can be a boost up for the entire day! A wish a day prevents your loved ones from being away

Make every day special and cheerful by doing good deeds. Touch the hearts of people you really love and care for. Think of all those who make a difference in your life and make their day special by touching their heart in a unique way.The best thing to make them feel special is to send them a morning wish, a good morning SMS. Remember, this is not just a wish, but a smile, a joy in response to your message.

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up to bar,the bartender leans over.He says “I DON’T WANT ANY FIGHTS!If you start any

placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or

two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a

buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over

again until your friends want to assault you.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

Guinness’s in 10 minutes.”

Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations.
One guy even leaves the bar. A little while later that guy comes back and asks the American, “Is

that bet still on?”

“Sure.”

So the bartender lines 10 Guinness’s up on the bar the Irishman drinks them all in less than 10

minutes.

As the American hands over the money he asks, “Where did you go when you left?”

The Irishman answers, “I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it.”

birthday – she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m

stumped.”

His buddy said, “I have an idea – why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60

minutes of great sex, any way she wants it – she’ll probably be thrilled.”

So the that’s what Joe did.

The next day at the bar his buddy said, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?”

“Yes, I did,” said Joe.

“Did she like it?” His buddy asked.

“Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling

“I’ll be back in an hour!!”

decided to stay anyway. The bartender approaches and says what’s the name of your penis. The man

replies, “I’m not like that, I just want a drink,” The bartender says, “I can’t serve you until

you give the name of your penis. For example the name of my penis is Nike, for the slogan just do

it. I’ll come back in a few minutes.” So the man thinks and turns to the man on his left and asks

him the name of his penis. The man replies, “It’s Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on

ticking.” The man then turns to his right and asks him. He replies “It’s Ford. Have you driven a

ford lately?” The man thinks and then calls the bartender over. “I got a name, it’s Secret” Why

is it secret, asked the bartender? The man says “it’s strong enough for a man but made for a

woman”

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it

is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good

for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even

improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through

which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive

intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

Thus, regular consumption of beer, wine etc., helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making

the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and

validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also

explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most

professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick

to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels

that they achieve during their college years.

So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we cannot shudder in

our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at

your peak, and you shouldn’t deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the

bottle and be all that you can be. Forward this to all of your friends, acquaintances and

co-workers that may be in danger of losing their edge.