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If you like animals or have a pet then you will really like jokes in this category. Its all about animal jokes and how they can be really funny. There is a Spectacular collection of animal jokes, funny animal jokes and children animal jokes for you, your friends and close ones.
Here you will find hillarious jokes about a variety of different animals, like bears, mice, birds, cats, dogs, elephants and gerbils, wildlife and their sense of feelings. They always have been a great source of smile for everyone.
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A bus driver on his route sees a van from the zoo stranded on the side of the road. The zoo worker offers the bus driver $100 to help him deliver two dozen penguins. The bus driver agrees and loads the penguins on the bus.
An hour later, the zoo worker gets his van fixed and heads to the zoo. On the road, he sees the bus driver and the penguins driving in the opposite direction. He catches up to the bus and pulls them over.
The zoo worker yells, “I gave you a $100 to take the penguins to the zoo for me. Why are you still driving them around?”
“Calm down,” the bus driver says, “I took the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I’m taking them to the movies.”
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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was holding hands with the first monkey
why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
because it thought they were playing a game!
hahahahahahah
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What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
An elephant is grey.
What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
“Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind)
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Q: How do you fix a broken chimp?
A: With a monkey wrench!
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Panda After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported “Goony bird” and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, “Goony bird! The table!”
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, “Goony bird! The shelf!”
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.
“Wow!” said the wife, “If this doesn’t attract my husband’s attention, nothing will!” So she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. “Honey!” she exclaimed, “I’ve got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!”
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, “Goony Bird, my foot!”
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A man calls Animal Control to get a crazed gorilla off his roof. A van pulls up and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat and a gun. He hands the man the gun.
“OK, here’s what we do. I’m going to go up onto your roof and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he’s incapacitated.”
“Great,” says the man, “but what’s the gun for?”
“If I fall down instead of the gorilla, shoot the dog.”
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Why did tigger look in the toilet?
he was looking for pooh
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How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
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Q: Why are monkeys so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!
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