What’s an I.T. day without some Chuck Norris jokes? Read on…

1. Chuck Norris invented C++ after roundhouse kicking C – TWICE.
2. Chuck Norris is the Domain controller.
3. Chuck Norris has the IP 0.0.0.0
4. Chuck Norris can ping 256.256.256.256 and get a reply.
5. Chuck Norris can hack into ANY bank with his palmtop.
6. Chuck Norris’ computer boots into Windows XP Pro even though only DOS 6.2 is installed.
7. Chuck Norris’ email address is ChuckNorris. He IS the internet domain.
8. Chuck Norris is mailer-daemon.
9. Chuck Norris is Dr Watson.
10. format c: is the request to have Chuck Norris come roundhouse kick your PC.
11. Chuck Norris has Windows XP on his Apple MAC (Sorry Chuck, that’s already been done!)
12. Chuck Norris never gets the page cannot be displayed error.
13. Machine code is another name for Chuck Norris language.
14. Chuck Norris CPU doesn’t have a fan.
15. Chuck Norris can write DVDs on floppy drive.
16. Chuck Norris invented the internet.
17. Chuck Norris can paste pics in Notepad.
18. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his 14400k modem & thats how we got ADSL.
19. Chuck Norris’s Dot matrix printer prints photos – in colour.
20. Chuck Norris uses Notepad as a database.
21. Chuck Norris’ PC speaker gives him 7.1 DTS surround sound.
22. Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.
23. Chuck Norris can edit PDF files.
24. Chuck Norris rips CDs with his hands.
25. Chuck Norris can download Metallica mp3s using Naspter.
26. Chuck Norris has a yahoo account with hotmail.
27. Chuck Norris has an Intel CPU on an AMD motherboard.
28. Chuck Norris can program a MAC with excel macros.
29. Chuck Norris website has never had a hit – Nobody hits Chuck Norris’ website.

skull,crossbonesIf you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Some people like to…

After the doctor delivered Chuck Norris he slapped Chuck Norris on the butt. While he realized that Chuck was already breathing he did it merely for posterity. The Japanese are the only other group of people who have made a worse mistake!

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris‘ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris. Some kids piss their name in the…

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to run away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn‘t step away from the vehicle. The vehicle steps away from Chuck Norris. A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man‘s blindness, unfortunately the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris isn‘t [...]

My wife doesn’t fuss at me anymore, because she was looking thru my phone and saw CHUCK NORRIS’S number in my contacts!

Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants. Chuck Norris Toilet PaperChuck Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company. The company field tested it but it didn‘t work because Chuck Norris doesn‘t take crap from nobody. When Chuck Norris falls…

tree.autumnBefore science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.