A real man is a woman’s best friend.

He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible……

No wait… sorry… I’m thinking of gin, never mind.

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the [...]

Charlie was a very successful marketing director. Sadly, his wife Rita dies. At the cemetery, Joe‘s friends and family are appalled to see that the headstone reads: “Here lies Rita, wife of Charlie, MCIM, Post Graduate Diploma in Marketing and Marketing Director of Quality Marketing Services Ltd.“ Charlie was standing in front of Rita‘s grave [...]

“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” “His men would follow him anywhere…but only out of morbid curiosity.” “This employee is really not so much of a ‘has-been’, but more of a definite ‘won’t be’.” “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a [...]

A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash. As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and not wanting to stare quickly looks away again. Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blind [...]

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife “Mother of Six“ in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it‘s time to go home and wants to find out if his [...]

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.” There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and [...]

My boss didn’t come into work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem. When I asked what was wrong, he replied, “I just can’t see myself at work today.”

Police warn all clubbers, partygoers, and unsuspecting bar regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market called “beer” is used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. [...]

Dear Manager, Thank you for your letter of April 25th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and [...]