While my wife was out of town, our rabbi’s wife borrowed a fancy pie pan. It was returned a few days later filled with an apple pie. When my wife asked where the pie came from, I told her it was baked by our rabbi’s wife, who said she never returns something without filling it up.

‘Good, you should let her borrow our checkbook,’ she replied.

A woman stopped by at her son‘s house, rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. What was a nice Jewish girl like her doing lounging around naked?? she thought…. “What are you [...]

A hundred years ago, a Yid comes to America and works as a traveling peddler. One day in July he‘s walking down a New England road when he finds a cool country lake. He takes off his clothes and takes a dip when the country sheriff arrests him and throws him in jail. The next [...]

In the future, a rabbi makes a car. This car doesn’t run on fuel, it runs on judaic belief. And to start this car you must say “Baruch Hashem” (Praise g-d), the faster you say it the faster the car goes. And the word to stop the car is “Amen”. So one day, a very [...]

A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics go crazy because, while they’re morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him. Finally, by threats and pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water [...]

A Jewish man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy’s in New York. He tells the saleslady, “I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size, 34B.” With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, “What kind of bra?” He repeated, “A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, [...]

Three Men And A Bubbie A Few Hood Mentches The Cohenheads The Rocky Hora Picture Show Shalom Alone Goyz ‘N The Hood A Gefilte Fish Called Wanda The Wizard Of Oys Who Framed Roger Rabbi? Prelude To A Briss

An old jew is on his deathbed. He gets enough strengh to talk. “My wife, my wife“. So his wife comes up to him and says: “I‘m here, I‘m here“. He then says: “My daughter, my daughter“ – “I‘m here daddy, I‘m here“ “My son, My son“ – “I‘m here dad“ “Well then… who the [...]

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He’s playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the [...]

You’ve had at least one female relative who draws eyebrows on her face and they are always asymmetrical. You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef “brisket”. Your family dog responds to complaints uttered in Yiddish. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents. You’ve experienced the phenomena of [...]