Two astronauts land on Mars. Their mission: to check whether there is oxygen on the planet.
“Give me the box of matches” says one. “Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens.”
He takes the box, and is ready to strike a match when out of the blue, a Martian appears waving all his arms…”No, no, don’t!”
The two guys look at each other, worried. Could there be an unknown explosive gas on Mars? But he takes another match….
And now, a crowd of hysterical Martians is coming, all waving their arms: “No, no, don’t do that!”
“It looks serious. What are they afraid of? But – we’re here for Science, to know if man can breathe on Mars.”
He strikes a match, which flames up, burns down, and….. nothing happens.
“Why did you want to prevent us from striking a match?”
The leader of the Martians says, “Today is Shabbos!”

Mama goes shopping and scrutinizes everything. Here is how her shopping went.. Mama: “I don’t like the looks of this whitefish.” Merchant: “Lady, for looks you don’t buy whitefish; you buy goldfish.” Mama: “Oy, and this chicken, it has a broken leg.” Merchant: “Look lady, you gonna eat it or dance with it?” Mama: “And [...]

Jewish humor is not a creation of today’s generation. It has been one of the most popular tradition of humor in judaism since the times of Torah and Midrash. Although the way it describe has completely changed today and now-a-days it is usually referred to the recent stream of humor prevailing in eastern europe which [...]

The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldfarb. She calls up her mother a few weeks after election day and says, ‘So, Mom, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?’ ‘I don’t think so. It’s a ten hour [...]

Two beggars are sitting on the pavement in Ireland. One is holding a large Cross and the other a large Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. As people walk by, they lift their noses at the guy holding the Star of David but drop money in the other guy’s hat. Soon [...]

Sid and Mundo were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. “Sid,” asked Mundo, “Are there any Jews in Mexico?” I don’t know,” Mundo replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Mundo asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went [...]

Bennie, carrying a load of sticks, became tired. He sat down on a bank, and laid his sticks on the ground. Then he said, “I am sick and tired of this. I wish death would come to relieve me.” Instantly, Death (Abaddon) appeared beside him and said, “Here am I. What do you want of [...]

George Bush is surrounded by his most trusted advisors when he asks “How do the Jews know everything first?” Nobody can answer his question but one aide suggests he speaks with Henry Kissinger. He calls him on the phone. “Henry, Mr. President here, tell me as one of the Chosen People how do the Jews [...]

The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. “Your Holiness” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths.” The Pope thought is was a [...]

A Jew and a Christian were arguing about the ways of their religion. The Jewish man said, “You people have been taking things from us for thousands of years; The Ten Commandments, for instance.” The Christian replied, “Well, it’s true that we took the Ten Commandments from you, but you can’t actually say that we’ve [...]