One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definately in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her.
She said, “The sky is definately blue!”
“I’m sorry Suzy thats wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. any body else?”
Timmy raised his hand and said, “The grass is definately green.”
“I’m sorry Timmy that’s not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Teacher do farts have lumps?”
The teacher says, “no why?”
Johnny says, “Then I definately Shit my pants!”

Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it right you don’t have to go to school on Monday. The fist friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No one knew so they all had to go [...]

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime — Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor man takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are [...]

Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps: 1. Unbutton pants 2. Pull pants down 3. Pull foreskin back 4. Pee 5. Push foreskin forward 6. Pull pants up and button up She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she [...]

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says. Little Johnny raises his hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,” he volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked young Johnny to describe the incident. “Well,” he began, “I [...]

The preschool teacher says, “We’re going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence?” Mary raises her hand and exclaims, “Me me me!” The teacher says, “Go ahead, what’s the sentence? Mary replies, “The sky is definitely blue.” “That’s good, Mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky can also be [...]

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word ‘beautiful’ in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied [...]

That little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents in the act. Before his Dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims, “Oh boy! Horsey ride. Daddy can [...]

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with “duck” he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called [...]

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!” The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ [...]