JokesArcade

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls

have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,

“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh Pop,” Johnny

sobbed, “for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven,

and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t

really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to believe in!”

Little Johnny ran out to a field his Pa was plowing to report, “there’s a strange

man at the house. I dunno what he wants.”

“Son,” the father told him, “if it’s the landlord, he wants his rent. If it’s the banker,

he’s come to foreclose the mortgage. And if it’s a traveling salesman, you run

home fast as your legs will carry you and sit in your maw’s lap til I get there!”

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.  Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

“So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home.

“Great,” Little Johnny replied.

“Did you and daddy have a good time?” asked his mother.

“Yeah, daddy really liked it too,” exclaimed Little Johnny, “especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!”

A mother enters her daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter on the wall over the bed.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:”It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you that I eloped
with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But is not only that Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have
many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams. I’ve learned that marijuana
doesn’t hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we’ll pray for the science to
find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’ll visit for you to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS:
Mom, it’s not true. I’m at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worst this in life than my report card that’s in the desk drawer. “

A girl phoned me the other day and said.
A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home

Ek baat kahon bura to nahi manein gay?
Mjhe
>

Ap

Se

P..

Pi..

Piy..

Piya..

Piyaa..

Piyaaz Aalu magwane thay. ()

The sadness of sex

Kissing’s a pleasure

Fucking’s a game

Guys get all the pleasure

Girls get all the pain

He says he loves you, and you believe it’s true

Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.

10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain

3 days in hospital, a child without a name

The baby’s a bastard

The mother’s a whore

This never would have happened if the rubber hadn’t tore

Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”

So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.”

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, “I bet you ten dollars you’ve got a mole on your butt.”

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, “Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.”

The teacher says, “Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.”

Johnny’s dad laughs and says, “No you didn’t, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he’d see your ass before the day was over.”

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin’s 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, ‘I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS’.

The attendant replied, ‘I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these people first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.’

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, ‘DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?’

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: ‘May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,’ she began – her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

‘We have a passenger here at Gate number 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If any of you can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.’

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, ‘F*** You!!!’

Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit) ‘I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that too!!!