JokesArcade

What does a mexican get 4 christmas?

Your TV.

What do Mexicans pick in the off season?

Their nose.

What do you call a pool with a Mexican in it?
Bean Dip.

A Mexican family crosses over the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are paved with gold. But the husband can find no work.

His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the foot of a big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, and begins to pray: “Sweet Jesus, please show me a way to feed my family…”

Eyes closed, the Mexican does not see a man coming over the top of the hill, who is stumbling wildly with a broken grocery sack. When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar cheese rolls down the hill an lands at his feet!

“Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you!” he cries, grabs the cheese, and runs straight home. Upon returning home, he gives the cheese to his wife and instructs her to make nachos.

“But wouldn’t you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos and other things?” she inquires.

“No,” the husband says, “Jesus sent this to me with a message… As I ran home,

I kept hearing Him yell, ‘ THAT’S NACHO CHEESE! THAT’S NACHO CHEESE!’

When they’re young, their parents say, “When you get bigger you have to get

a good job.”

What do you call a building full of Mexicans?

Jail.

What are the first 3 words in every Mexican cookbook?

steal a chicken.

Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: “What’s in the bags?”

“Senior, It’s only sand.” replies Jose.

“Sand??? Well, we’ll just see about that – get off the bike!”

The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them…except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.

Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose’s shoulders, and he is let across the border.

Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: “What you got there?”

“Sand,” says Jose.

A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.

For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn’t show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.

“Hey, Bud,” says the guard, “I know you’re smuggling something. For a year it’s driven me crazy. It’s all I can think about… I can’t get sleep, the kids are getting neglected…heck, even the dog senses I’m beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?”

Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: “Bicycles…”

Why don’t Mexicans BBQ?

The beans fall through the little holes.