JokesArcade

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, ‘Dad, what is the difference between

anger and exasperation?‘

The father replied, ‘It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.‘

With that the father went to the telephone and dialled a number at random. To the man who answered the phone,

he said, ‘Hello, is Melvin there?‘

The man answered, ‘There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don‘t you learn to look up numbers before you

dial them?‘

‘See,‘ said the father to his daughter. ‘That man was not a bit happy
with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch….‘

The father dialled the number again. ‘Hello, is Melvin there?‘ asked the father.

‘Now look here!‘ came the heated reply. ‘You just called this number and
I told you that there is no Melvin here! You‘ve got a lot of nerve calling again!‘ The receiver slammed down hard.

The father turned to his daughter and said, ‘You see, that was anger. Now
I‘ll show you what exasperation means.‘

He dialed the same number and when a violent voice roared ‘Hello!‘ in answer, the father calmly said, ‘Hello, this

is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?‘

A guy (we’ll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman’s home.

As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette.

Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing.

He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it

there.

Aaron decided rather than to take up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one

would know.

When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had

done.

“Aaron, The carpet looks wonderful!” she exclaimed. “Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen. Oh

yes, by the way, have you seen my cellphone?”

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, “What happened to your ears?”

He says, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron.”

The boss says, “Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?”

He says, “Well, geez, I had to call the doctor!”

What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
A big phone-y!

Q: How do cells communicate?

A: By cell phone!

The bathtub was invented in 1850.

The telephone was invented in 1875.

This might not seem like much but, if you had lived back then, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years

without being bothered by the phone

What are you doing?
I‘m trying to call Washington!
Oh, haven‘t you heard? He‘s dead!

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my

left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror

putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!