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Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”
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Sardarji is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest…
First ball : Whizzes past Sardarji’s off-stump. Sardarji doesn’t move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Second ball : Goes right over the Sardarji’s bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Sardarji is again unmoved.
Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Sardarji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Sardarji doesn’t move a muscle.
Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Sardarji again doesn’t move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts “No Ball!”
Sardarji walks up to the umpire and tells him, “So you discovered it now!You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!”
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An Englishman, an American and Santa are called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman says: “I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer“.
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Ok“, he says, “10 bottles“.
And the machine is silent.
The American says: “I think I can eat 15 hamburgers“.
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Allright, 8 hamburgers“.
And the machine is silent.
The Santa says: “I think…“,
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
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One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, “ Are you relaxing“ Sardar answered ‘“ No I am Banta Singh“ Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered “ No…
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A sardar wins the Texas lottery.
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Our sardar says, “I want my $20 million now.”
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The man replies, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”
The sardar replies, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it now.”
Again, the man repeats the explanation. The sardar, now furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my $20 back!”
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Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
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Bobby returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. ” Dad, today we had a Spelling Class – All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?” “No son, that’s because you are intelligent. ” Bobby seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, “Dad, today we had Math class – All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??”
“No son, that’s because you are intelligent,” replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bobby poses another question to his father, “Dad, today we had Gym class. All the other boys had little small 3 inch penises, mine is at least 3 or 4 times that size. Is that because I am Sardar ??” The father replies, “No son, that’s because you are 31 years old.”
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Santa had been out for a few days due to ill health. At work Banta asked him how he was feeling?
“I‘m better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience.“ he replied.
“Wonderful? How can the cold and fever be wonderful?“ Banta asked Santa in stunned disbelief.
“Well, I learned that my wife, Jeeto, really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, she ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!‘“
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‘Take me to the 10th floor,‘ said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise building. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, ‘The 10th floor, beta.‘ ‘Why did you call…
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A Sardar received an invitation, to a party
which said “Black Tie Only”!!
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When he went to the party he was surprised to
find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts
as well !!!!
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