JokesArcade

Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the

middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the

plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After

some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But

the sardaji told: “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.

The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and

requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not

leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and

requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the

ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to

the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the

sardarji. Capt. replied: “nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to

Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade.”

After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,”Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le”

4 men – a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top

job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner

that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each

candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the

job.

The next morning, first up was the Marathi. “Here’s your question,” said the

President, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” Without hesitation, he replied

“A thought, because it takes no time at all.” “Very good answer,” said the

President.

Next up was the Gujrati, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the

president. “A blink,” replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, “cos you don’t

think about a blink. It’s a reflex.” “Good answer,” replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president.

The Bengali thought for a moment, “Electricity, because you can flip a switch and

20 miles away a light will go on immediately.” “That’s a great answer,” replied the

president.

Finally, it was our Santa’s turn. “What`s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the

president. Scratching his head Santa replied: “Diarrhoea, because last night after

dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I

could think, blink or turn on the light…..”

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.

Teacher to Sardar: “Where were U born?”

Sardar: In Tiruvanantapuram.

3238578thm.gif

Teacher: Spell it?

Sardar: (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.

Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?

Waiter: Woh langra tha.

Sardar: Dil?

resturant.jpg

Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.

Sardar: Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga sardar tha…

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.

Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hon.!

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife

observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff.

Wife asks Why are you doing this?

Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

Letter from mother to son Santa Singh. Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can’t read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since then. The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don’t make the last payment on grandma’s funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it’s a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.