JokesArcade

Husband says; “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me”. Wife replied; “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”

What would men do without women?
Train another animal.

Why did the runner quit the race against Bigfoot?

He couldn’t face defeet!!

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?

A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.

He meets another New Zealander who says “you sheerin‘ mate?“ and the first guy replies “naw, they‘re all mine“

Why does a squirrle swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur

A lickalotopis

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, “Have you been drinking, sir?“

“Why?“ snorts the man. “Is there a fat bird in my car?“

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other “Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?“
The other one says “No, It doesn‘t worry me, I‘m a horse!“

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.