There once was a rector from Kings,
Who’s mind was on Heavenly things,
But his heart was on fire,
For this boy in the choir,
Who’s ass was like jelly on springs.

A cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she’s reaming away with a vengeance. The cop says, “What the hell is going on here?” The girl says, [...]

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: “Doctor, how long before we can have sex?” The doctor replies, “I’d wait until he’s at least 14.”

Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine. I only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick! It’s damned good though – it does everything ………. KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, crisps ……..

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, “Mummy, what are they doing?” The mother hesitates then quickly replies, “Ummm they are making cakes.” The next day they are at a zoo and the little [...]

There were two guys taking a shower. They were playing with eachother and kissing. Then sombody knocked on the door so one of the guys was like im going to answer the door so dont finish without me right. So he went to go answer the door when he came their was cum all over [...]

A lonely man is browsing the pet ads in his local paper looking for a pet. He comes accross an advert for an intelligent,adorable golden labrador free to good home. He calls the number and arranges to go and see the dog. He arrives at the house and a man lets him in. The man [...]

One day there was a little girl and it was her birthday, but her parents had to go out for the night so they hired a babysiter and told him to let the girl do whatever she wanted to do because it was her birthday. So when the parents left, the little girl was playing [...]

Be very proud to be British Because: Only in Britain… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain… do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain… [...]

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, “Mister, I’m scared! These woods are really creepy.” The pedophile replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself.”