JokesArcade

Your Momma’s so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!

Do you know what the difference between yo momma and the titanic?

The titanic sunk, yo momma floats.

Let’s get off moms, ’cause I just got off yours.

Let’s get off moms, ’cause she can’t handle those five men on her now.

Yo mamma’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she really sits A-R-O-U-N-D the house.

She left her purse on Noah’s Ark.

Jurassic Park brought back the memories…

When she ran the 100 meter dash, they timed yo mama with a sundial.

She still owes Moses a dollar.

When she was at school…there was No history class!

She uses her hot flushes to heat her cup of Tea

She’s got the first autographed Koran.

She co-wrote the 4th Commandment.

When I asked for Her ID yo mama handed me a rock

She even made Yoda jealous.

She recalls When the Grand Canyon was a ditch.

The fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake

When She gave birth, You came out with Dentures.

She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade

Her first job was as Cain and Abel’s baby-sitter.

Her birthday expired.

When Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo mama fishing on the other side!

She got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.

Her social security number is 000-000-001

She’s got Adam and Eve’s autograph

She starting to fart out Mummy dust

Her zip code is 00001.

She used to baby sit Yoda

She uses chewing gum as a band aid.

She used to cut Betty Rubble’s hair

She used to gang bang with the Flintstones

She was once a waitress at the last supper

Spielberg hired her as historical consultant on Jurassic Park

She was the only Creature in Jurassic Park they never had to animate

She uses T-Rex dropping as fertilizer.

She was co-author of the Dead Sea scrolls

When God said ‘let there be light’, yo mama was the one flicking on the light switch.

She baby-sat for Pythagorus

She used to get sermon tips from Zeus.

She offered odds of 4 to 1 on Adam eating the apple

They call her Captain Caveman

She’s more ancient than everything seen on the Antiques Road Show

She the only one at the old folks home with a senior citizens discount.

Mel Gibson hired yo mama to offer insights on what life was like with William Wallace

She got told to act Her own age…and she died.

She farts out dust.

Her birth certificate says “Expired” on it.

She used to baby-sit Pascal

She invented the term ‘oldest profession in the world’

She’s in Jesus’s yearbook!

She sat behind Yoda in the third grade.

Roses are red, violets are black, why’s Yo mama’s chest, as flat as her back?

Roses are red, Yo mom’s lips are blue, she sucked off that Smurf and did me up too.

Yo momma’s like a “Happy Meal” small, cheap and greasy.

Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit.

Yo momma’s so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.

Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo momma’s so short, she does back flips under the bed.

Yo mamma’s so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang “We are family!”

Her face is on the front of a food stamp.

That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.

Burglars break into yo momma’s home and leave money.

When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.

The building society repossessed her cardboard box.

She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk’s fingers

She can’t even afford to go to the free clinic.

When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing….’Moving’ she replied.

I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.

When I rang her doorbell, SHE said ‘Ding-Dong’

I asked her where the ‘facilities were’ and she replied – “Pick a corner…ANY corner…”

I visited yo momma’s house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed – “Who’s tearing down the drapes!!!!”

I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said “Sure thing, it’s 4th tree on your right…”

Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted…

When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered – “Lost a shoe?”, and she said – “Nope…just found one…”

She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley….with a box on it…

She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Even Beggars give you money.

She bounces food stamps.

She can’t even afford to pay attention.

She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.

She uses chewing gum as a band aid.

She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.

She uses white-out as a tooth filler.

She can’t afford a mop – she stands on her head in order to mop the floor…

Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the ‘yellow snow’…and yo loved it, didn’t ya!

I’m sitting here at the computer, scouring the internet for the world’s best bad breath jokes. Honestly, you’d think it’d be easier. I only found a few, and decided to twist it into “Yo Mama” style.