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Water Closet
In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for “Water Closet”. She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC. The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. ...
Complaints to Travel Agents
These are a selection (So I am told) of complaints made to Travel Agents by holiday makers... I can only presume to much Sun was to blame............ "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." "We booked an excursion to a water ...
Funny / Kids / Silly / Dirty / Adult / Best Knock Knock Jokes
Welcome to jokesarcade.com. Knock knock jokes is a type of paronomasia in which there are two characters. Firt one is punster and the other is recipient. The basic format have 5 lines. 1. The first person will say Knock-Knock 2. The second person will answer : Who's there? 3. The first person will response and say (usually) a name. 4. The second person will repeat the response followed by Who- (a request for clarification who is knocking on the door) 5. The first person will do the Punch Line on this stage- usually a misuse of the word or the name set up during the ...
Gas Problem
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?" "I'm out of gas," the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee. The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed, "what did you put in my gas tank"? ...
Church Organist
There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in ...
Why She Changed Hotels
Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... ...
A Real Man
A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most ...
I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it
One morning at a doctor's clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I ...
Funny / Hilarious & Good Clean Jokes | One Liner / Short & Blonde Clean Jokes
Decent peoples always try to spend their leisure time in a good manner like reading jokes and stories and having fun with humour. They love to read good and clean funny jokes rather than reading adult and dirty jokes. The reason behind reading good family jokes and clean jokes for having fun is that it suits their personality. Therefore we bring you a hilarious collection of funniest clean jokes for kids and such decent peoples including good clean jokes, clean humor jokes, free clean jokes, clean kids jokes, dumb clean jokes. Here you ...
About Jokes
Jokes create smile on your face. There are lots of funny jokes in numerious languages, you can distribute all the jokes with your friends and blood relatives because there are no Sexy, Dirty, Adult jokes and sms. Funny jokes, funny sms jokes and funny short jokes. These jokes raise you up every morning to be active with a smiling face and prepare to move the world. your life becomes change if you read these jokes. Here we won't burden you for a single cent. Your Smiling face is the greatest blessing for us.
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Missing Cell Phone
A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home.
As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette.
Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing.
He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it
there.
Aaron ...
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Phones · Ears · Electric Irons
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, ...
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A big phone-y
What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
A big phone-y!
Sponsor Ads
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Bathtubs & Telephones
The bathtub was invented in 1850.
The telephone was invented in 1875.
This might not seem like much but, if you had lived back then, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years
without being bothered by the phone
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Calling Washington
What are you doing?
I‘m trying to call Washington!
Oh, haven‘t you heard? He‘s dead!
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Women Drivers
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my
left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror
putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a ...
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Reward these soldiers for their work
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their
country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three
soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to
the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General
began, "I can't give out ...
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The Colonel’s Order
A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:
"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be
visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have
the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain
this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, ...
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young man in the Air Force
There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well-
endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force
doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to
remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just take a
big hunk off the end." They discussed it and ...