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Mostly peoples who used to have a job or business usually love to work in their office because they probably spend their most of the time which is approximately about 8 to 10 hours and it seems to be a massive proportion of their daily life. So when they become habbitual of it, they really enjoy being worked in office and without which they feel quite bore. Cracking jokes is the best way to keep the interest in work consicously because it gives some relaxation and pleasure to their mind and it really works. Therefore We have gathered some nice collection of new ofice jokes / funny office jokes all of which are good actually best and clean office jokes. If your office is open on friday also you can find friday jokes also here. All of these are funniest and hilarious office jokes and you can crack all these jokes at office. Besides we also have other office humor which includes office birthday jokes for celebrating birthday of your colleagues in office and office christmas jokes for enjoying christmas. Here You will also find office computer jokes, office practical and meeting jokes and pranks, office inside jokes, short office jokes and one liners.
Today everybody is busy in their work (jokes about work). In such state if work is accompanied with some free and funny work jokes from the clean and best work jokes found on internet than you would be auspicious. Our hilarious work jokes includes office, friday and monday work jokes. All of these workplace jokes are work friendly and suitable jokes which makes really sense. Some of these social work related jokes also talk about work knock knock jokes, work life balance and christmas work jokes. They can also be classified as short and work safe jokes.
We deliver you the best quality business jokes you would never ever found on internet. All of which are funny business jokes and quite related to business or you can say that these are jokes for business. There are some short and small business jokes. These good and clean business jokes includes business related analyst and business meeting jokes also. So Have a blast!!
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Mexican population is growing day by day. That is the most pragmatic reason which is adding a dramatic controversy in the popularity of Illegal mexicans (illegal mexican jokes). Due to their popularity we have gathered some of the best mexican jokes that you can use as offensive mexican jokes, racist mexican jokes or mexican racial jokes to offend the mexicans. Mexicans have different types such as black, white and fat and all of them don’t look like similar. So, you can also have fat mexican jokes, black mexican jokes and white mexican jokes and also mencia mexican jokes. This mexican text jokes book also have in it one line and short mexican jokes, funny mexican jokes, clean mexican jokes, hilarious mexican jokes and mexican word of the jokes. Lets enter in the funniest mexican jokes world!
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Jewish humor is not a creation of today’s generation. It has been one of the most popular tradition of humor in judaism since the times of Torah and Midrash. Although the way it describe has completely changed today and now-a-days it is usually referred to the recent stream of humor prevailing in eastern europe which rise from United States of America about hundred years ago. Jewish humor or Funny Jewish jokes (also known as jew jokes) are also used to offend jews thats why they are also called offensive jewish jokes or racist jewish jokes because it becomes a sort of racial discrimination. We have gathered a commendable and an enormous collection of best jewish jokes compiled in a form of book of jewish jokes comprising family guy jewish jokes, jewish american princess jokes, funniest jewish jokes, short jewish jokes, jewish american prince jokes, hilarious jewish jokes, jewish jokes one liners. You would really love to see these jokes, so have enjoy!!
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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for
a 3-day pass.
The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you
already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that
recognition!”
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?”
“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up,
the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, “Do
you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!”
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During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe
for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a
supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a
train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find
a seat. He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train
looking for any place to sit down.
Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was
room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper
looking,
older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside
her.
“Could I please sit in that seat?” he asked.
The lady was insulted. “You bloody Americans are so rude”, she said,
“can’t you see my dog is sitting there”?
He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat.
He found himself back at the same place.
“Lady I love dogs – have a couple at home – so I would be glad to hold
your dog if I can sit down”, he said.
The lady replied, “You Americans are not only rude you are arrogant”.
He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally
said,
“Lady, I’ve been on the front lines in Europe for three months with
not a decent rest for all that time. Could I please sit there and hold
your
dog?”
The lady replied, “You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you
are also obnoxious.”
With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog,
threw it out the window, and sat down.
The lady was speechless.
An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat
spoke up. “Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the
lady’s description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do
a lot
of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold
your
fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch
out
of the window.”
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What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the
terrorist attacks who doesn’t believe in retaliation:
1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate.
2. When he says “No,” ask, “Why not?”
3. Wait until he says something to the effect of “Because that would
just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should
not cause more violence.”
4. When he’s in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you
can.
5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a
mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would
be awful and he should not cause more violence.
6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional
violence.
7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is
necessary to punch back.
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The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One
finally ran up, panting heavily.
“Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little
late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke
down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles,
and now I’m here.”
The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he
was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came
up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.
“Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought
a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I’m here.”
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the
first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the
General, panting heavily.
“Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but missed it, I hailed a cab but…”
“Let me guess,” the General interrupted, “it broke down.”
“No,” said the G.I., “there were so many dead horses in the road, it
took forever to get around them.”
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A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part
of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines,
the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen
to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?”
“Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air
and scatter oneself over a wide area.”
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Twas the night before Payback…
‘Twas the night before Payback and all through the land,
The Taliban are running like rabbits in Afghanistan.
Osama’s been praying, he’s down on his knees,
He’s hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas.
He thought if he killed us that we’d fall and shatter,
But all that he’s done is just make us madder.
We haven’t yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut,
And we’ll kick your ass, with one heavy boot.
And yes we remember the USS Cole,
And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole.
You think you can rule us and cause us to fear,
You’ll soon get the answer if you live to hear.
And we ain’t forgotten your buddy Saddam,
And he ain’t forgotten the sound of our bombs.
You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide,
They’ll go down in history as the place where you died.
Remember Khadhafi and his line of death?
He came very close, to his final breath.
So come out and prove it, that you are a man,
Cause our boys are coming and they have a plan.
They are our Fathers and they are our Sons,
And they sure do carry some mighty big Guns.
They would have stayed home, with Children and Wives,
Till you bastards came here and took all these Lives.
Osama I wrote this especially for you,
For air mail delivery by B-52.
You soon will be hearing a thud and a whistle,
Old Glory is coming, attached to a missile.
I won’t be sorry to see your cowardly ass go,
It’s Red, White, and Blue that’s running this show!
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This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval
ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in
October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
November 10, 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid
a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED
BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I
DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT’S ONE FIVE
DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE
SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
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