Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
When it comes to wine I’m very particular about what I buy. There are two things I
look for before making my selection. First, the word “Wine” must appear
somewhere on the label. This is something I insist on. Second, I look for a sign
nearby that says “On Sale.” Follow these two rules and you won’t go far wrong.
Wife: Why are you waiting here?
Husband: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling!
Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho!
Husband: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta jo khada hai!
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Sardar ki maut Bijli girne se hogai par uski lash muskurate hue mili.
Bhagwan ne poocha Aisa kyun?
thunder
Sardar Bole : Mujhe laga koi Photo Kheench riya Si…
A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked
the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies “down the hall and to the
left”.
Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off
and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies “down the hall and to
the left”.
Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he
was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him “well aren’t you going to
ask where the bathroom is?” The pig replies ” no, i am going to go wee wee wee
all the way home.”
Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there
on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the
interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his
certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript :
O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials
I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can
answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some
opposites
S : Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions
O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly…U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly…P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)
O : U…..G…..L …… Y…..(Officer shouts)
S : P ….. I ….. C ….. H ……. H …… L ….. Y……
Our sardar also shouts)
#Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected …….. ……. and This is how Santa Singh got
his job.
What do Mexicans pick in the off season?
Their nose.
Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten.
Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either.
So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of
him.
As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil
costume screaming, “Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya’ don’t give up you’re
drinkin’ and it’s to Hell I’ll take ye’”.
Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, “Who the hell ARE you?”.
Too that the Missus replied, “I’m the divil ya’ damned old fool”.
To which Flaherty remarked,
“Damned glad to meet you sir, I’m married to yer sister.”
Who’s d 1st Indian cricktr 2 bcum Captn in his 1st match,scord 100 in d same match n hit a 6 of last bal 2 defeat England?
A police officer pulls over this guy who’s been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.
“The man says, “Sorry, officer, I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”
“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”
“I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”
“Well, then, we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry, officer, I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I’ll get really low blood sugar.”
“All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”
“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m drunk.”