Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when
the first man turns to the other and says: “You know, last week I discovered that if
you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the
winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building
and back into the window.” The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval
while wiping the bar.
The second guy says, “What are you a nut? There is no way in hell that could
happen.” “No, it’s true,” said the first man, let me prove it to you.” He gets up from
the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the street below. When he
passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into
the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
He met the second man, who looked quite astonished. “You know, I saw that with
my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke.” “No, I’ll prove it again,”
says the first man as he jumps. Again just as he is hurling toward the street, the
10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window.
Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. “Well, what the hell,” the second
guy says, “it works, I’ll try it!” He jumps over the balcony plunges downward,
passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors… and hits the sidewalk with a “splat.” Back
upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker, saying “You know, Superman,
you’re a real asshole when you’re drunk.”
Edmund Hillary did not win a Nobel prize for climbing mount Everest on the morning of 29 May 1953. This is not because there is no Nobel prize for mountain climbing, it is because the highest point on earth in the morning is Chuck Norris’s erect penis. It was Chuck Norris’s girlfriend who won the Nobel prize.
Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50? and “Phone a Friend”.
Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…
Amitabh Bachchan: Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…
Santa Singh gets Tense…
Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan ? Your options are…
A) Amitabh Bachchan B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar) D) Sanjeev kumar
Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He’s quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]
But Santa is surprisingly still confused…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.
Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.
Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?
Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…
Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…
Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:
B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar)
Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…
Santa Singh: I would like to use my last life line too – Phone A Friend…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??
Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…
Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan (Thanks to AirTel )
Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?” receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..
GUESS WHY????????? ??
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Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?”
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says “We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
When you cross a Mexican and a German
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
A: A Beaner-Schnitzel
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other
end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and
asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” To which
she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you
tonight!” By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly
and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes,
the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m
sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m
studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.” To which he responds,
at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200!”
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history’s most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
Circiut: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera Sara chain collection apne kamray mein chupa do na please.
Munna bhai: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
Circiut: Nahin Bhai, woh apne chain pehchan lega.
Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne
lagte hai!!!