Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne
lagte hai!!!
Once a Sardarji went to the city of Mumbai for the first time to meet his father. His father had asked him to keep walking in the direction of the sunrise until he eventually reached hishouse. Since, the Sardarji was new to the city he decided to ask a passerby the direction in which the sun rose in Mumbai – east, west, north or south?The passerby who was also a Sardarji thought for some time and then said, “Main bhi is sheher mein naya aaya hoon!” ( I am also new in this city!)
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee, touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.
How Do You Starve A Mexican?
Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* A Litre of 2% milk,
* A carton of eggs,
* A Litre of orange juice,
* A head of lettuce,
* A can of coffee,
* And one pack of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While
the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,”You must be
single.”
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the
derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual
about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re
absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re ugly. “
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa
went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition
clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, “Are Banta
Singh ! What the heck’s goin’ on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride
down there ? Scared Banta replies. “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver.”
1. A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like “Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai” ( “he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home” )
2. This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him “kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai” Sardarji replies “Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata ”
3. Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks “kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?” Sardarji replies “Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun”
Walk a mile in his shoes
After that
Who cares
He’s a mile away
N
The shoes r urs
Take them
N runnnnn
Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily.
His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer,” said Johnny through his tears.
“That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you’re upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?”
“I did!” sobbed Johnny.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.