Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
Take me to the 10th floor,‘ said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise
building. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and
said, ‘The 10th floor, beta.‘ ‘Why did you call…
1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi
ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.
A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The
officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up
to the young man’s window. “What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a
fahhr? Let me see your license, boy.” The young man handed over his license.
Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The
officer said, “Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?” The
young man replied, “Well sir, I’m a juggler.” The officer spat some tobacco juice
and then he said, “A juggler; well you don’t say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of
yer car; you going to jail!”
The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove
to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, “You can
even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you.” The officer reluctantly allowed
him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.
Two miles down the road at Joe’s Tavern, Billy Bub was drinking it up with Jerry
Lee Jones. Billy Bub soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He
proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden
Billy Bub spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest
phone booth and dialed the number for Joe’s Tavern and asked for his buddy,
Jerry Lee.
When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy Bub said, “Whatever you do when you
leave that tavern, don’t go north on route 109. The state police are giving a
sobriety test that nobody can pass!”
Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin’s penis was twisted like a corkscrew.
“Wow,” Gary said. “I’ve never seen one like that before.”
“Like what?” Martin said.
“All twisted like a pig’s tail,” Gary said.
“Well, what’s yours like?” Martin said.
“Straight, like normal,” Gary said.
“I thought mine was normal until I saw yours,” Martin said.
Gary finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants.
“What did you do that for?” Martin said.
“Shaking off the excess drops,” Gary said. “Like normal.”
“Fucks!,” Martin said. “And all these years I’ve been wringing it.”
A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well
“Yes! Of course! My pop taught me…even more than 10″
“Good. What comes after three?”
“Four,” answers the boy.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven.”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your erm…dad did a good job. Now…so what comes after…lets say ten?”
“A jack”
How do you stop a Mexican from robbing your house?
put up a help-wanted sign
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo
clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more
times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, “Midnight, just
like I said.”
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo
clock. When I asked why, she answered, “Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it
cuckooed three times, said ‘Shit!,’ cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed
three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started
giggling.”
SANTA: Mere Nana ne mujhse choti si baat par rishta tod diya..
BANTA: Kyun.Kya kha unhone.?
.
Unhone kaha..
.
Moongphali me dana nhi Hum tumhare Nana Nhi..
sardarji enrols in an english course……..
English teacher: students! Tell me a word which has got more that 8 letters
Sardarji: Letterbox
Little Johnny’s mother decided to give her son and anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, “Johnny, this is where you came from.” Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as Lucky Johnny. “Why” one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, “Because I came this close to being a turd.”