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Water Closet
In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for “Water Closet”. She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC. The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. ...
Complaints to Travel Agents
These are a selection (So I am told) of complaints made to Travel Agents by holiday makers... I can only presume to much Sun was to blame............ "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." "We booked an excursion to a water ...
Funny / Kids / Silly / Dirty / Adult / Best Knock Knock Jokes
Welcome to jokesarcade.com. Knock knock jokes is a type of paronomasia in which there are two characters. Firt one is punster and the other is recipient. The basic format have 5 lines. 1. The first person will say Knock-Knock 2. The second person will answer : Who's there? 3. The first person will response and say (usually) a name. 4. The second person will repeat the response followed by Who- (a request for clarification who is knocking on the door) 5. The first person will do the Punch Line on this stage- usually a misuse of the word or the name set up during the ...
Gas Problem
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?" "I'm out of gas," the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee. The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed, "what did you put in my gas tank"? ...
Church Organist
There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in ...
Why She Changed Hotels
Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... ...
A Real Man
A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most ...
I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it
One morning at a doctor's clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I ...
Funny / Hilarious & Good Clean Jokes | One Liner / Short & Blonde Clean Jokes
Decent peoples always try to spend their leisure time in a good manner like reading jokes and stories and having fun with humour. They love to read good and clean funny jokes rather than reading adult and dirty jokes. The reason behind reading good family jokes and clean jokes for having fun is that it suits their personality. Therefore we bring you a hilarious collection of funniest clean jokes for kids and such decent peoples including good clean jokes, clean humor jokes, free clean jokes, clean kids jokes, dumb clean jokes. Here you ...
About Jokes
Jokes create smile on your face. There are lots of funny jokes in numerious languages, you can distribute all the jokes with your friends and blood relatives because there are no Sexy, Dirty, Adult jokes and sms. Funny jokes, funny sms jokes and funny short jokes. These jokes raise you up every morning to be active with a smiling face and prepare to move the world. your life becomes change if you read these jokes. Here we won't burden you for a single cent. Your Smiling face is the greatest blessing for us.
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The Jewish car of the future
In the future, a rabbi makes a car. This car doesn't run on fuel, it runs on judaic belief. And to start this car you must say "Baruch Hashem" (Praise g-d), the faster you say it the faster the car goes. And the word to stop the car is "Amen".
So one day, a very spacey ...
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A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics go crazy because, while they're morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him. Finally, by threats and pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water ...
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The Jewish bra
A Jewish man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York.
He tells the saleslady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size, 34B."
With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"
He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you ...
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Hebonics
The New York City school board has officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed 'Hebonics', as a second language. Backers of the move say the city's School District is the first in the state to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and significant attribute of New York culture.
According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at New York ...
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Favorite movie rentals for the Chanukah holiday
Three Men And A Bubbie
A Few Hood Mentches
The Cohenheads
The Rocky Hora Picture Show
Shalom Alone
Goyz 'N The Hood
A Gefilte Fish Called Wanda
The Wizard Of Oys
Who Framed Roger Rabbi?
Prelude To A Briss
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JEW ON DEATHBED
An old jew is on his deathbed. He gets enough strengh to talk. “My wife, my wife“. So his wife comes up to him and says: “I‘m here, I‘m here“. He then says: “My daughter, my daughter“ - “I‘m here daddy, I‘m here“ “My son, My son“ - “I‘m here dad“ “Well then… who the ...
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A Jewish grandmother
A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the ...
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You know you grew up Jewish when …
You've had at least one female relative who draws eyebrows on her face and they are always asymmetrical.
You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef "brisket".
Your family dog responds to complaints uttered in Yiddish.
Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents.
You've experienced the phenomena of 50 people fitting into ...
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Rolls Royce Moshe was at his golf club
Moshe was at his golf club and went into the clubhouse to see whether anyone could offer him a lift to Hendon. His own car was off the road being serviced.
'Sure,' said Morry, 'I'll give you a lift. My Rolls Royce is just outside.'
As they're driving along, Moshe says, 'Morry, what's that thing on the ...
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The Pope and the Jew
Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope ...
