|
Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine.
I only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick!
It’s damned good though – it does everything ………. KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, crisps ……..
|
man,hikingA woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting flies,” He responded.
“Oh, killing any?” She asked.
“Yep, three males, two females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”
|
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he
decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone and he explains all the features on the
phone.
The next day, the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband:
“Hi honey”, he says “how do you like your new phone?”
And she replies:
“I just love it, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand though”.
“What’s that, baby?,” asks the husband.
“How did you know I was at Wal Mart?”
|
businessmanA young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished
with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the
businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around
and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”
The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”
|
There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was
driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in
South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go
flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the
damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I am really lucky to be alive!” Likewise
the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes
his head and says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!”
The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, “Hey guys, I think this is a
sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of
arch rivals.” The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right!
We should be friends.”
The Air Force guy says “Let me see what else survived this wreck.” So he pops open his trunk
and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
He says to the NAVY and Army guys, “I think this is another sign from God that we should toast
to our new found understanding and friendship.” The Swabbie says, “You’re right!” and he grabs
the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly a third of the
bottle the Squid hands it to the ARMY guy and says, “Your turn! The ARMY guy sucks down a third
and hands the bottle back to the Air Force guy.
The Air Force guy puts the cap back on the bottle and says, “I think I’ll wait for the cops to
show up.”
|
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was
walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die
you’ll come and dance on my grave.”
The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir!
I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in
another line!”
|
One morning at a doctor’s clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him” OK, what happened to your back?”
The patient replies “You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, that’s how I strained my back”
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said “My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?”
He replied, “You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won’t believe it but I was hit by a fridge.”
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, “What the hell happened to youuuuuu…..?”
“Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor…….
|
Every modest joke can not make laugh us, it needs to have some qualities which could make it distinct and no body could resist his temptation after listening or reading that joke. A good joke always performs this duty efficiently providing a profound way to laugh. Therefore everybody prefers good jokes to be cracked to have fun. Searching Good jokes have always been a difficult task on internet because there is huge garbage of tarnish labeling so-called good jokes.
To give a unique portal on internet we have made this distinct category especially for those peoples. Now you don’t need to face any problem in searching good jokes because we bring a massive collection of really clean good jokes which includes good clean jokes, good blonde jokes, good practical jokes, good clean Christian jokes, good clean funny jokes, good short jokes, good humor jokes, good dirty jokes, good knock knock jokes, good adult jokes, good funny jokes, good Christmas jokes and goods kids jokes. All jokes are free good jokes. Must check it out!!
|
When the people become exhausted and get tired by the burden of work, they always try to refresh their mind by doing some sort of different activity like having fun or humor. It is the democratic right of every people either he/she belongs to rural status or urban. Cracking funny jokes is the best way to have fun and divert the mind.
A funny joke basically provides energy and nutrition to mind. Here we have collected the best collection of very funny jokes which are really short, one liner, good and clean funny jokes. Here you will find funny Christmas jokes, funny dirty jokes, funny blond jokes, funny lawyer jokes, funny picture jokes, funny sms jokes, funny birthday jokes and adult funny jokes but this is not the limit. We desperately know what is the importance of funny jokes for kids therefore we have also added funny racist jokes, funny yo mama jokes, funny Mexican jokes, funny Irish jokes, funny kids jokes, funny text jokes, funny rude jokes, funny redneck jokes, funny quotes and stories, which are extremely free funny jokes. We have also started a segment named funny joke of the day for our visitors who will be provided best funny jokes online daily. So here you go!!
|
Everybody is used to have been sensitive about his/her ethnicity. They usually follow the rules of ethnic in every walk of life as a rule of thumb and can never ever think to avoid these rules, even consider going against these rules as a sin. Now-a-days Ethnic joke has become a source of fun also due to those extremist because they are addicted towards ethnic and always think about it. Therefore we have put our best efforts to deliver you the best ethnic including funny ethnic jokes, short ethnic jokes, clean ethnic jokes, ethnic joke book and dirty ethnic jokes. Have fun!!
|
|  |
|
|