Christmas Jokes

Posted in Christmas Jokes on February 25th, 2011

Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!

Dear Mom

Posted in Little Johnny Jokes on February 25th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

A mother enters her daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter on the wall over the bed.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:”It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you that I eloped
with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But is not only that Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have
many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams. I’ve learned that marijuana
doesn’t hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we’ll pray for the science to
find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’ll visit for you to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS:
Mom, it’s not true. I’m at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worst this in life than my report card that’s in the desk drawer. “

Race to the Sun

Posted in Sardar Jokes on February 23rd, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, “What’s the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun.”

“But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we’ll melt.”

And the first answered, “So what, we’ll go at night.”

@lassi @

Posted in Sardar Jokes on February 22nd, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

Ek darya k kinaray 2 Sardar chamach se darya main dahi daal rahe thay

Pathan ne dekha tau poocha: Khocha ye kia karti?

Sardar: hum lassi bana rahe hein.

Pathan: Ha ha ha. O pagal k bacha log is liye tum per lateefa banata hai.

Itna lassi tumara baap piye ga?

Piyaaz Aalu

Posted in Little Johnny Jokes on February 20th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

A girl phoned me the other day and said.
A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home

Ek baat kahon bura to nahi manein gay?
Mjhe
>

Ap

Se

P..

Pi..

Piy..

Piya..

Piyaa..

Piyaaz Aalu magwane thay. ()

handcuffs

Posted in Mexican Jokes on February 18th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

Why do mexicans have small stearing wheels?

so they can drive with handcuffs on

Jerry Lee

Posted in Bars and Drinking Jokes on February 17th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The

officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up

to the young man’s window. “What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a

fahhr? Let me see your license, boy.” The young man handed over his license.

Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The

officer said, “Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?” The

young man replied, “Well sir, I’m a juggler.” The officer spat some tobacco juice

and then he said, “A juggler; well you don’t say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of

yer car; you going to jail!”

The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove

to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, “You can

even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you.” The officer reluctantly allowed

him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.

Two miles down the road at Joe’s Tavern, Billy Bub was drinking it up with Jerry

Lee Jones. Billy Bub soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He

proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden

Billy Bub spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest

phone booth and dialed the number for Joe’s Tavern and asked for his buddy,

Jerry Lee.

When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy Bub said, “Whatever you do when you

leave that tavern, don’t go north on route 109. The state police are giving a

sobriety test that nobody can pass!”

hawai jahaz

Posted in Hindi Jokes on February 16th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

Santa says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye

Santa says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye.

Salesman: Plain main dikhaon?

Santa: Abey hawai jahaz main nahi dukan par hi dikha!

Rhyme

Posted in Little Johnny Jokes on February 15th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

The sadness of sex

Kissing’s a pleasure

Fucking’s a game

Guys get all the pleasure

Girls get all the pain

He says he loves you, and you believe it’s true

Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.

10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain

3 days in hospital, a child without a name

The baby’s a bastard

The mother’s a whore

This never would have happened if the rubber hadn’t tore

Johnny Likes To Gamble

Posted in Little Johnny Jokes on February 15th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”

So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.”

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, “I bet you ten dollars you’ve got a mole on your butt.”

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, “Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.”

The teacher says, “Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.”

Johnny’s dad laughs and says, “No you didn’t, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he’d see your ass before the day was over.”

high tide

Posted in Chuck Norris Jokes on February 15th, 2011 by admin – Be the first to comment

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.