Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
A mother enters her daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter on the wall over the bed.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:”It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you that I eloped
with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But is not only that Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have
many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams. I’ve learned that marijuana
doesn’t hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we’ll pray for the science to
find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’ll visit for you to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS:
Mom, it’s not true. I’m at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worst this in life than my report card that’s in the desk drawer. “
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, “What’s the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun.”
“But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we’ll melt.”
And the first answered, “So what, we’ll go at night.”
Ek darya k kinaray 2 Sardar chamach se darya main dahi daal rahe thay
Pathan ne dekha tau poocha: Khocha ye kia karti?
Sardar: hum lassi bana rahe hein.
Pathan: Ha ha ha. O pagal k bacha log is liye tum per lateefa banata hai.
Itna lassi tumara baap piye ga?
A girl phoned me the other day and said.
A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home
Ek baat kahon bura to nahi manein gay?
Mjhe
>
Ap
Se
P..
Pi..
Piy..
Piya..
Piyaa..
Piyaaz Aalu magwane thay. ()
Why do mexicans have small stearing wheels?
so they can drive with handcuffs on
A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The
officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up
to the young man’s window. “What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a
fahhr? Let me see your license, boy.” The young man handed over his license.
Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The
officer said, “Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?” The
young man replied, “Well sir, I’m a juggler.” The officer spat some tobacco juice
and then he said, “A juggler; well you don’t say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of
yer car; you going to jail!”
The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove
to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, “You can
even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you.” The officer reluctantly allowed
him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.
Two miles down the road at Joe’s Tavern, Billy Bub was drinking it up with Jerry
Lee Jones. Billy Bub soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He
proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden
Billy Bub spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest
phone booth and dialed the number for Joe’s Tavern and asked for his buddy,
Jerry Lee.
When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy Bub said, “Whatever you do when you
leave that tavern, don’t go north on route 109. The state police are giving a
sobriety test that nobody can pass!”
Santa says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye
Santa says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye.
Salesman: Plain main dikhaon?
Santa: Abey hawai jahaz main nahi dukan par hi dikha!
The sadness of sex
Kissing’s a pleasure
Fucking’s a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
He says he loves you, and you believe it’s true
Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.
10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain
3 days in hospital, a child without a name
The baby’s a bastard
The mother’s a whore
This never would have happened if the rubber hadn’t tore
Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”
So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”
The teacher says OK, she can handle it.
The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.”
She says yes I know who you are.
Johnny smiles and says, “I bet you ten dollars you’ve got a mole on your butt.”
The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.
She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.
That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.
So his dad calls the teacher and says, “Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.”
The teacher says, “Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.”
Johnny’s dad laughs and says, “No you didn’t, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he’d see your ass before the day was over.”
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.