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Remarks at Your Funeral

Funny Clean Joke - Remarks at Your Funeral3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say? The first guy says,"I would like to hear them ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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Questions?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? If you take a Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? What do chickens think we taste like? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes

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IT’S BEEN A FAST 30 YEARS!

1970: Long Hair 2000: Longing for hair 1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund. 1970: Keg. 2000: EKG. 1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux. 1970: Moving to California because it's cool. 2000: Moving to California because it's warm. 1970: Growing pot. 2000: Growing pot belly. 1970: Douglas Street bridge. 2000: Dental bridge. 1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. 2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes

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Home For Lunch

At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch". The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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Biologist studies frogs

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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A man has six children…

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife “Mother of Six“ in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it‘s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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A man has six children…

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife “Mother of Six“ in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it‘s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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Did You Ever Wonder?

Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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100 ways to order a pizza the fun way…

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where applicable. 4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. 5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation." 6. Tell the order taker ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take ...
Saturday, February 14th, 2009 Funny Jokes