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Water Closet
In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for “Water Closet”. She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC. The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. ...
Complaints to Travel Agents
These are a selection (So I am told) of complaints made to Travel Agents by holiday makers... I can only presume to much Sun was to blame............ "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." "We booked an excursion to a water ...
Funny / Kids / Silly / Dirty / Adult / Best Knock Knock Jokes
Welcome to jokesarcade.com. Knock knock jokes is a type of paronomasia in which there are two characters. Firt one is punster and the other is recipient. The basic format have 5 lines. 1. The first person will say Knock-Knock 2. The second person will answer : Who's there? 3. The first person will response and say (usually) a name. 4. The second person will repeat the response followed by Who- (a request for clarification who is knocking on the door) 5. The first person will do the Punch Line on this stage- usually a misuse of the word or the name set up during the ...
Gas Problem
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?" "I'm out of gas," the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee. The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed, "what did you put in my gas tank"? ...
Church Organist
There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in ...
Why She Changed Hotels
Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... ...
A Real Man
A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most ...
I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it
One morning at a doctor's clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I ...
Funny / Hilarious & Good Clean Jokes | One Liner / Short & Blonde Clean Jokes
Decent peoples always try to spend their leisure time in a good manner like reading jokes and stories and having fun with humour. They love to read good and clean funny jokes rather than reading adult and dirty jokes. The reason behind reading good family jokes and clean jokes for having fun is that it suits their personality. Therefore we bring you a hilarious collection of funniest clean jokes for kids and such decent peoples including good clean jokes, clean humor jokes, free clean jokes, clean kids jokes, dumb clean jokes. Here you ...
About Jokes
Jokes create smile on your face. There are lots of funny jokes in numerious languages, you can distribute all the jokes with your friends and blood relatives because there are no Sexy, Dirty, Adult jokes and sms. Funny jokes, funny sms jokes and funny short jokes. These jokes raise you up every morning to be active with a smiling face and prepare to move the world. your life becomes change if you read these jokes. Here we won't burden you for a single cent. Your Smiling face is the greatest blessing for us.
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A Jewish Beer
One day, the wise men of Chelm decide to start making their own beer.
After months of experimentation with different recipes, they still can't agree which is the best formula. They deliberate for weeks, with no resolution. Finally they leave the decision to the Rabbi.
The Rabbi decides which one is their very best beer and the ...
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Two beggars in Ireland
Two beggars are sitting on the pavement in Ireland. One is holding a large Cross and the other a large Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. As people walk by, they lift their noses at the guy holding the Star of David but drop money in the other guy’s hat. Soon ...
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Bernie at the Races Rabbi Levine is walking slowly out
Bernie at the Races
Rabbi Levine is walking slowly out of a Shul in Golders Green when a gust of wind blows his hat down the street. He's an old man and can't walk fast enough to catch his hat. Across the street, Bernie sees what's happening, rushes over, grabs the hat and returns it to ...
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American in London
An American Jew was shopping on Regent Street in London. He entered a posh gourmet food store. A sales representative, in a long morning coat
with tie and tails, approached.
“May I be of help to you, sir?“
“Yes. I‘d like a pound of lox.“
“Sorry, sir - do you mean smoked salmon?“
“Okay, a pound of smoked salmon.“
“Anything else, ...
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The true meaning of a Ghet
A New York judge is presiding over the divorce
proceedings of a Jewish couple. When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and says, "Now I have to arrange for a Ghet."
The judge inquires what she means by a Ghet.
So, the woman explains that a Ghet is ...
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I got my four Sir
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he
was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear
me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
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An Irish Priest and a Rabbi
An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road.
The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!"
The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?"
The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken."
The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from ...
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rector from Kings
There once was a rector from Kings,
Who's mind was on Heavenly things,
But his heart was on fire,
For this boy in the choir,
Who's ass was like jelly on springs.
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Not My Kind Of Date
A cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.
The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"
The girl says, "This is ...
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Wrong Number
Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches
rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. ...
