Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there
in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and
called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn’t reach in
the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on
the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him ” Arre Puttar, ki
hoya?” (What Happened, My Son?)
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,
“Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate
hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?” (These Maruti Car people are crazy!
They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and
placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the
Irishman started to leave.
“S’cuse me,” said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. “What was that all
about?”
“Nothing,” said the Irishman, “my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.”
Mark walks into a bar and realizes it’s a gay bar, but decides that he really wants a
drink. When the waiter approaches, he asks Mark, “What is the name of your
penis?”
Mark says, “Look, I’m not into any of that, all I want is a drink.” The gay waiter
says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your penis.”
Mark turns to the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, “Hey
bud, what is the name of your penis?”
The man, with a smile, says, “Timex.” Mark asks, “Timex?” The fella proudly
replies, “Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’!”
A little shaken, Mark turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita.
“So, what do you call your penis?”
The man proudly exclaims, “Ford, because quality is Job 1.” Then he adds, “Have
you ridden a Ford, lately?”
Even more shaken, Mark has to think for a moment before he comes up with a
name. He turns to the bartender and says, “The name of my penis is ‘Secret.’ Now
give me my beer.”
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but asks, “Why Secret?” Mark
replies, “Strong enough for a man but made for a woman!”
Banta: Kee Gal hai Sante. Kalle Kalle samosey kha reyan
Santa : Nahin yaarr, Chutney De Naal.
Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: “What’s in the bags?”
“Senior, It’s only sand.” replies Jose.
“Sand??? Well, we’ll just see about that – get off the bike!”
The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them…except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.
Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose’s shoulders, and he is let across the border.
Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: “What you got there?”
“Sand,” says Jose.
A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.
For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn’t show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Bud,” says the guard, “I know you’re smuggling something. For a year it’s driven me crazy. It’s all I can think about… I can’t get sleep, the kids are getting neglected…heck, even the dog senses I’m beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?”
Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: “Bicycles…”
Over the past few years, scientists say they’ve been developing what they say is a
revolutionary new kind of baby bottle. It’s a baby bottle actually shaped like a
woman’s breast. If that’s true, forget baby bottles, make beer bottles!
Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.
Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.
Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”
Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”
There were three guys stuck on an island, the first guy was a African, the second was a German, and the third one was a redneck.
While swimming at the beach the African found a magical lamp and rubbed it. A jenie came out and told them three that he would grant them all one wish.
The African went first and wished to go back to Africa with his family. Then the German went second and wished to go back to germany with his family. Finally it was the rednecks turn so the jenie asked him ,” What is your wish.”” The redneck paused and started looking around and said
The idea for the helicopter began when Igor Sikorsky watched Chuck Norris roundhouse kick a legion of chimpanzees many times. It was when he himself was roundhouse kicked in the head that the idea finally kicked in.
Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person, who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!