Happy Christmas to all. As we all know on 25th December Christianity commemorate the birth of Jesus. Our team has collected a huge collection of Christmas Jokes for our valuable users to keep them smiling on this great occassion, You can use these Jokes as Christmas SMS also to wish your loved once via text messages. Enjoy your stay here and have fun!
Why don’t Mexicans BBQ?
The beans fall through the little holes.
What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?
Chase after him, it’s probably yours!
What do you call a mexican on a riding lawnmower?
Promoted.
Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? “Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”
This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork.
“About two hours,” says the conductor.
“OK,” says the drunk “then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?”
The irate driver says to the drunk “It’s still about two hours. Why’d you think there’d be a difference?”
“Well,” says the drunk, “It’s only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it’s a long time between New Year and Christmas!”
A guy walks into a bar in a town with no women and asks the bartender, “How can you live in this
town without any women?”. The bartender replies, “It’s not that bad when we get lonely we go out
back where there is a barrel with a knothole in it. So after a few beers, the guy starts getting
a little lonely and tells the bartender he’s gonna go find the barrel. So he walks up to the
barrel and sticks it in the knothole. After about 5 minutes he walks back to the bar and tells
the bartender, “Man, that’s the greatest stuff I’ve ever had!! What do I owe ya?” The bartender
replies, “Nothing, but it’s your turn to get in the barrel”.
Two fishermen were adrift in their rented boat due to an engine failure. While
rummaging through the boat’s provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old
lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.
To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie,
however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, “Make the entire
ocean into beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and
immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull
broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a
long, tension filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going idiot! Now we’re going to have
to piss in the boat!”
There was a bar advertising a contest and a man walked in to find out what the contest was for. The bartender said it is for anyone who could make my horse laugh wins fifty dollars. So the man asked where the horse was the bartender said out back in the barn. The man went out to the barn when he returned he told the bartender the horse was laughing the bartender went out and sure enough the horse was. About a month later the same man was passing the bar and they were having another contest and the man wanted to see what it was so he went in. The bartender said the horse had not stopped laughing since he was last there. The new contest was for who could make him stop got 100 dollars. The man went to the barn and came back and told the bartender that the horse was crying and the bartender went to check. When he returned he paid the man and asked how he had done that. The man replied that the first time I told the horse I had a bigger dick than he did, the second time I proved it.
Chuck noris is the reason waldo is hiding.
A guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. When he opens the door, he encounters two sheriff’s deputies, one of whom asks if he is married and, if so, whether the deputy can see a picture of the wife.
The guy says “sure ” and shows him a picture of his wife.
The deputy looks carefully at the picture and then gravely says, “I’m sorry sir, but it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.”
The guy says, “I know, but she has a great personality, is an excellent cook, and lets me play golf whenever I want to!”