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Mini

How do you get four elephants into a Mini? Two in the front, two in the back.
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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They were raised in a zoo!

Q: Why are monkeys so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes

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They’re boasting about race records

Panda Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!" "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his ...
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes

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The Christmas Parrot

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale. He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet. He also tells the man that this is one amazing parrot. If you put a match under his left foot, it sings ...
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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Zoo tycoon

A bloke goes to a zoo, when he gets there it's just one cage and bucket loads of land. in the cage was a dog telling you now it was shit-zoo
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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Points

How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won't close. How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge? There'll be ...
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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A monkey with a machine gun.

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A monkey with a machine gun.
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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A frog calls a psychic

Panda Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says, "This ...
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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Cat in the Way

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close ...
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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At The Vet

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettable, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing ...
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Animal Jokes
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