Bush Signs Kyoto Protocol (Finally)
WASHINGTON — Enlisted by members of the House and Senate, presidential
aide Rebecca Tandy brought a copy of the international climate-change
treaty to President Bush’s desk Monday and asked him to sign a
birthday document for a Japanese dignitary named “Kyoto Protocol.”
“Mr. Protocol really likes treaties, so we got him this treaty instead
of a card, so if you could just—all the other countries have already
signed it,” a nervous Tandy reportedly said to Bush, who quickly
scrawled his signature on the treaty and told her to tell Kyoto he
said “hi.” “And now, if you could just initial here, and here, and
here, and, oh, you can ignore all that stuff about sulfides. That’s
just an inside joke.”
In other news, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi later attempted to get Bush
to sign a “bar mitzvah stop-use agreement” for the son of Mr. and Mrs.
Ben Clusterbomb.