Living relative
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.You think the stock market has a fence around it.You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.You’ve ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.Your home has more miles on it than your car.